I Cause Problems

Why is change scary?

noreply@blogger.com (Nick) — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 20:59:00 +0000

Change is part of life. Without it, everything would suck. Being stuck in one place, across my life, drives me nuts. I'm not a "through the motions" kind of guy, though I have things I keep like that. It's tough to explain... while parts of my life may be status quo, I'm always doing something to better myself.

To that end, I've been looking for a new job. I'm absolutely fed up with my current employer. In my nearly six years here, instability was part of the job. Until this last bout, as we're going through merger actions (we were purchased by a bigger fish last year), I hadn't gotten this stuck. But this round, things have been grating on me. I know what I'm doing at work, but not what my job is. I couldn't describe what I do, or why they have me employed. I was told because I was a technical expert, but everything I do is around process (something I didn't really handle before) related.

On Wednesday, I interviewed with the largest employer in the US outside of the Federal Government. Sitting through it all, I've realized exactly how much my current job has hurt me. Answering questions and talking about my accomplishments, I realized that in six years of work, I did a lot, and learned a lot, but none of it related to being in a team doing that same thing. I'm trying to become a programmer, something I went to college for and would love to make my career focus. I have the skills and education for it, but everything at my current job has been a one-man show. We had no resources to get things done, so we cobbled it together. This new job would be resource and team intensive.

I'm not scared of starting somewhere new. I crave that. I'm not scared of moving, I've been trying to for years. I'm not scared of programming, though the scale will be a bit daunting. But what I am scared about is failure. I'm scared of getting a job and figuring I don't know anything, and will be fired for it. I don't know how I'd react. I've never been fired from a real job (in fact, the only time I was canned, it was as a scapegoat when I was 14, but totally different story), and for the most part, I've excelled. I demand such of myself. I like metrics, goals, and a way to measure myself.

That's probably why I'm so dissatisfied right now. I don't have anything to strive for. We're trying to stitch everything together because they laid-off most of our experts. I don't know how I can succeed, because I don't know what I'm doing. But changing means taking a risk. Moving somewhere new and potentially failing. I should know if I get the job by the end of the week. My impressions after the interview were that I stood a very good chance. They liked me (for whatever reason) and felt I'd be a good fit. They're most likely doing a background check and will see my ugly but improving credit and clean record (seriously, only trouble of note is a couple of speeding tickets). So now I'm in that terrible waiting part, which is the worst.

I hope it goes well. That's all I can do. It's out of my hands. My general motto is that I don't get worked up over things I cannot control, but at times like this, it's hard to stick to it. But should I get it, that means change.

And it scares the shit out of me.

Beyond the Brick, Changes, etc.

noreply@blogger.com (Nick) — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 15:11:00 +0000

So, for the one or two people that may even remember this place and the outside chance that you wonder what's been going on... well, stuff. Mainly, most of my efforts have gone to my new community site, Beyond the Brick. It's a blog (though not as biting as this one) run between a few friends and myself, along with a discussion forum.

Outside of that, work sucks donkey parts. I've actually been pretty active in applying for a new job, and had an interview in KC earlier this week. I didn't get it with perhaps the lamest excuse ever: "they're holding out for someone that has experience in skills they didn't require." Basically, I had the goods, had a great interview, and was a strong candidate, but they want someone with experience in one particular language.

Holy Freakin' Crap

noreply@blogger.com (Nick) — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 17:43:00 +0000

Okay, it's time that I have to geek out a little. It's no secret that I like LEGO or Star Wars, and more specifically, the two. I belong to a community called "From Bricks to Bothans," and part of the reason I've neglected my blog so much is that I'm a MOD on that site.

Anyway, a fellow MOD and myself came up with a contest to run for all the builders out there, called Steam Wars. Basically, it's a fusion of Steam Punk (think Jules Verne stuff taken to the extreme) and Star Wars. The rules are simple, create a Star Wars vehicle in Steam Punk style. It's generated a lot of interest and buzz on the community, but it's started to spill out past that. We've now been featured in a couple of blogs. And not just any blogs...

The Official Star Wars Blog and Wired.com Geek Dad blog.

That's right.

A big step for me...

noreply@blogger.com (Nick) — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 14:51:00 +0000

Sigh... a whole month without a post? That's bad, even for me. There are reasons... I've just been absurdly busy (mostly work stuff), but you don't care about that. However, I decided that I was going to cancel the subscriptions to the online games I play (that would be the big step).

Plus side, I did a whole long post about science and naturalism on a site I frequent (LEGO forum), which was kind of interesting. There's a whole board created just to discuss "hot" topics, and that's one I picked in response to a great deal of science bashing over in a religion thread. I was in that one, being nice, level and calm. Well, until I said that religion damages kids, and people kind of went apeshit. Well, just a few people.

It brought out an interesting side of online communities. There were a handful of people that took real issue with me posting, because I could even think to disagree with them. It doesn't help that I was recently elevated to a MOD on that forum, and now some godless heathen is in control of their posts (which I never let get in the way... I enforce the rules and help guide the community; my beliefs are neither here nor there). Two of them are kids, so they don't know any better yet, and another is an adult who should (and has taken equally attacking stances towards other subjects and people who don't agree with him). I also was protesting a law in Texas that mandated an open podium for religion (and only religion, and only religions that were deemed "non-offensive," and would not allow for rebuttal from us godless heathens or... you know... facts) and that was what really sparked off the breaking. I like the constitution, and the whole establishment clause and freedom of speech, and who in the hell gets to decide what's "non-offensive."

It's funny to me, because the reaction its garnered is about as un-Christian as I can imagine. They now frequent topics just to disagree with me, PMs about my beliefs, and bug others about it.

Anyway... the section... here's the post:

Science and Naturalism

Since we have a head-banging topic on religion going, I figured I'd take a moment and try to separate out the greater portion of science discussion (or attacks) that exists in that thread. I threatened to make it... and so here we are.

Vastly important note... this is not an anti-religion topic, an anti-god(s) topic, or even an anti-faith topic. Those can be fine things, but ultimately, they serve different purposes in the human psyche. The conflict between science and religion dates back a long time, and it comes down to the rejection of the "supernatural" element in science. This is called, in turn, Naturalism.

Naturalism (or Methodical Naturalism) is the methodological assumption that observable events in nature are explained only by natural causes without assuming the existence or non-existence of the supernatural. Before jumping on the word assumption here, remember that assumptions are a part of life, and required for logical discourse. But said assumptions are backed up by testing, evidence, and explanation. The world as we see it can be explained without our own terms without adding a "supernatural" element to it. I.e., the sun Rises because of the rotation of the Earth, not because invisible fairies are pulling it across the sky. By making the assumption that fairies don't exist, we are able to test, observe, and prove that the Earth a) rotates and b) the Sun's position is static relative to the Earth, and the apparent movement is in fact caused by the actual movement and rotation of our globe.

On the surface of this belief, religion and science do not collide. Science is not out to ever disprove (or prove) the existence of God(s). It's there to explore, explain, and expand on our understanding of everything around us. By design, Science is self correcting, open to review, and constantly changing and evolving. Where the conflict starts is when a conclusion arises that runs afoul of an accepted non-naturalistic belief. For practical purposes, that typically falls to the sciences of Astronomy, Biology, Cosmology, Archeology, Paleontology, and other sciences that focus on the past. However, science is far broader than this, chemistry, physics, medicine, biochemistry, agriculture, manufacturing, engineering, and thousands of other disciplines make up what can be called "science." Please note, evolution isn't a science in itself, it's a theory that's touched on by many different disciplines.

But remember the point of naturalism, as a rejection of the supernatural as an influence. Without this belief, the whole concept of science, in and of itself, breaks down. As soon as you say something can work in violation to the laws that govern our existence, you've invalidated those laws. We're not talking about things like evolution here, but the basic principles. In general, you can draw the biggest conflicts between science and religion to a few related topics:

Evolution as the origin of life (and as part of that, man)
Cosmology, the origin of the universe, our galaxy, and solar system - specifically, the conflict between the traditional Age of the Earth/Geology and the push for Young Earth Creationists (Intelligent Design religious folks who say the Earth is 6000 years old) and Old Earth Creationists (people who accept facts like the Earth being 4 billion years old, but still try to point to a higher power as the cause for everything)
Consciousness, Morality, and the human psyche

We'll pick a popular (and so very wrong) attack on the sciences that touch into evolution... Carbon Dating. This is an extremely common tactic of YECs. The general misconception is that carbon dating is used to prove the Earth is 4.04 Billion Years old. In truth, carbon dating is only used to date things back about 60,000 years or so, the time in which it can be proven to be exceedingly accurate (with an accepted margin of failure). The process is determining the presence of C14 isotope in a particular substance. C14 is an unstable isotope of Carbon that's created by the bombardment of Solar/Cosmic Rays on our very Nitrogen Rich atmosphere. C14 has a half-life (the time it takes for half of the C14 to decay into N14, a stable isotope of Nitrogen) of 5730 years, something we can easily measure with basic math and physics. The concept of half-life and the creation of C14 is very well understood, and extremely accurate.

The most common (and incorrect) criticism is that this scale is either incorrect or inaccurate, and therefore, the Earth is not as old as "science" says it is. Again, it's a sad generalization calling out science, or is more often the case, evolutionists, as being incorrect here. This is correlated by physics, nuclear science, chemistry, and geology. It's most definitely not inaccurate, since the half-life of C14 can be easily tested in a lab (and created in scale experiments). But perhaps the most damning thing about this supposed criticism is that geologists don't use carbon dating to measure the age of the earth, rocks, or other features. It's only accurate to 60,000 years (the amount of time it takes for the vast majority of C14 to become N14... which, incidentally, we can measure it that long because we can see the ratio of N14 to C14), and therefore, of little use dating the Earth. Instead, geologists use Uranium-Lead dating. Uranium 238 decays into Lead, and this takes a very long time... 4.45 Billion Years. That means that U238 hasn't gone through a full half-life cycle on Earth yet. And this is exceedingly accurate, refined to a level of +/-50 years. That's an extremely small margin of error to work with.

Trying to call this method into doubt undermines a lot of other known facts about Science. The half-life concept isn't just used in dating the earth, but also in atomic clocks, radiology, meteorology (since C14 factors in to the interaction of the atmosphere and cosmic rays), and chemistry. It undermines the whole thing the same way as supernatural intervention does... you can't trust any result or value you receive... what's to keep someone/thing/god/monster/nose from changing it to 6 days tomorrow?

Oh, as a brief aside... while I know I promised this would be about science, I should point out my biggest problem with YEC. My stance against misinformation is well documented on these forums, and when I make a factual error, I own up to it. But willfully perpetuating wrong information should be punished. Ironically, my opinion on YEC was formed back when I was still a very "active" Christian. It undermines the entire point of the Christian faith, and the very idea of a Christian God. It requires that God be deceitful by nature, and that he put lies into the record around us. We're not just talking about things like fossils here (even though dating methods put them back millions upon millions of years ago), though that's a big one (if you're a Christian and you hear someone else say that God put fossils there to test people, be sure to tell them that God doesn't lie, and that's what something like that would be). But further things, like cosmology, astronomy, and history are called into question with the belief of YEC, and that God had to set up the entire cosmos to appear as if it was a whole lot older than it was to "trick" us.

Of course, my views about the whole god(s) thing have changed since then, giving rise to the naturalist view, but back then, I had a real issue with that. In a lot of ways I still do, because it belittles so much done by so many people. Not just scientists, but also historians, writers, cultures, and religions as well. That should never be tolerated.

Okay, back to the topic at hand. Specific instances of science come under attack constantly, despite the fact that what is usually attacked is not linked to any one specific scientific discipline. Evolution, for example, is not a discipline in itself, it's an area of study. It's not a singular theory, or even one that can fit into a paragraph. It's a multitude of theories, hypothesis, facts, and ideas that have come together from centuries of testing, observation, experiments, and learning. And no part of it negates a belief in a higher power, only the narrow view of the origin/creation as a literal event. Mind you, the same argument is not limited to just evolution. It was made against astronomy during the time of Galileo, and astronomy came out as right, despite direct contradiction from that same narrow view.

By its nature, science is always interconnected, since there are parts that overlap with each other, often as near compliments. Cosmology, the origin of the universe, intersects with astronomy, and both together fill in gaps into geology. Again, a big issue is to undermine one part and leave the rest untouched... that's where you see scientists get up in arms over the idea of Intelligent Design (sorry, I can't bring myself to call it a science, it's an insult to all real science), even if their specific area of study or discipline isn't directly affected... it tries to undermine the whole thing.

It's also to understand the very nature and philosophy of science. It's not about creating laws or facts, it's not a matter of faith and belief, and it is never, never just making stuff up. Naturalism is a way of explaining what we can observe around us. We take water as a liquid, heat it, and it will boil and "vanish" into thin air. Through observation and controls, we know that heat transfer (thermodynamics) increases the temperature of the water until it changes states from liquid to gas, becoming water vapor. The water doesn't vanish, it just changes states. If you were to capture the vapor/air and sufficiently cool it, it'd change back into a liquid. Once upon a time, that would have been considered magic, without an explanation.

Over the years, mythology/religion has sought to fill in those gaps in understanding, attributing to the supernatural what could not be explained as the natural. But this was before the rise of naturalism, which said there is a natural explanation for everything. At best, it's currently unknown, and merits further study. It does not actively try to disprove any sort of higher being, but by design, does not allow for a "god(s) did it" argument or explanation for anything. Unless, of course, there was a natural and concise explanation for god(s), then we'd jump right at it. The motion of disallowing the supernatural explanation means that everything has an explanation, as stated before, and that claims that rely on them must be false (or have a mundane reasoning behind them). This would amount to things like miracles, ghosts, psychics, talking to the dead, remote viewing, ESP... the list could go on forever. As Pierre Laplace so eloquently said to Napoleon when asked where God fit into his book on science... "Je n'avais pas besoin de cette hypothèse-là". It holds true for all naturalistic explanations, there is no need for the supernatural because the natural can explain it.

But again, remember that science is: it's a process of explaining the natural and observable causes in the universe. The naturalist movement generally started with the age of scientific enlightenment (which could go back as far as Leonardo, but generally starts with Galileo, Copernicus, and later, Darwin).

It does need to be noted a few facts about science with all of this, and definitions that are needed when discussing science. These are important for a number of reasons. First, they are important to the very core of what science is. Second, when people attack or criticize science, nothing shows off ignorance any more than failure to understand the very principles of what science is. This is very apparent in the discussion around evolution, since nearly all of the arguments require that you know nothing about the basics of the scientific method to believe them. Third, and most importantly, it doesn't apply only to science, but to most logical endeavors.

The Scientific Method is not a single method, but instead a collection of different problem solving and logical processes that together fit into the fundamentals of science. It requires science be based upon observable (either directly or indirectly), empirical (non-biased data), testable, and measurable actions/results. This fits into what was described above, the removable of the supernatural as a result. Since it can not be observed and tested, it can not fit into this method. Thus, science is never seeking to prove or disprove God(s). This process of action binds the rest of science together. If it can't be tested using the scientific method, it's simply not science.

This part, in turn, moves to the basic structure that makes up science. It starts with observation, which optimally is observed more than one or recorded and can be re-examined. Observation pushes into learning, and when examining the results, it starts to build into hypothesis. Please note, a hypothesis is not a "guess." It's much more formulated than that. Once a hypothesis is formed, it's a matter of testing and continued observation. Remember that for science, it has to be testable, and by that nature, potentially falsifiable.

That's a cornerstone of science, that a result can always be falsified if evidence later contradicts it. The Scientific Method makes the whole system open to peer review. Nothing, absolutely nothing, in science is above examination. Not the theory of evolution, the theory of gravity, or the big bang. It's all constantly being examined, tested, and revised. If someone puts out bad data, the idea of peer review guarantees that it will be caught. Take a classic example of Cold Fusion... a few individuals posted results based on a long-standing hypothesis and theoretical discussion. The rest of the community started to look through the result and raised the red flag. Essentially, science has a built-in bull* bleep * detector.

Again, we're still dealing with the observation and hypothesis level here, we haven't moved on to theory. The process requires that someone publish their proof, experiments, and observations right along with their conclusions. Again, the subject of peer review. While someone doesn't always have to post full instructions on how it was done (for patent issues and the like), they do need to disclose what they did. Which leads to another important concept, that of independent conformation. This means that once a conclusion has been reached, someone else needs to come to the same conclusion using similar data.

We'll take fossils for this one. Someone can dig up a fossil in a particular locale that's unique. Let's say they found a new dinosaur, the Rockosaurus, in southern Canada. Using established concepts, our intrepid Canadian Scientist, Dr. TPJ, determines it was 78 million years old. This is amazingly odd, since there are no records of other dinosaurs in the same area. Further observations uncover a couple more in that same area, and our fair doctor sets about to explaining his observations. He double-checks the dating, dating on the surrounding rocks, and looks at his own experience in the field and at the evidence from the surrounding area. He has an independent source double-check his dating numbers, and pulls other reports for the area he's been digging and what's known about it. By checking micro-fossilization and strata studies done by several sources, he determines that the soil he pulled the Rockosaurus from did indeed date from 80 million to 75 million years ago. The date-time is confirmed, and he has to start looking further.

Ultimately, through a whole lot of other testing, he finds out that the area did indeed look like it could support the Rockosaurus as far as diet and environment, and starts to hypothesize about the creature and its place in the ecosystem. Further study reveals a few things known about dinosaurs in general, and this one was a carnivore, and most likely hunted smaller Andrewasaurs, which have been found in nearby areas, but not here specifically. The environment would support the Andrewasaurs on all fronts, and given what is known about the little buggers, they would not likely fossilize in that area. The doctor therefore hypothesizes that the Rockosaurus was a large predator and further study could conclude the area had a larger food supply.

Once he publishes his studies, another doctor discovers evidence of the Andrewasaurs in the same area, as well as evidence that there was an active predator species at work in the area, eating the Andrewasaurs and keeping their population in check. This creates independent evidence that Dr. TPJ's original hypothesis is correct. There may be adjustments or new conclusions in light of the new evidence, and it continues to grow. Please note, this still remains as a hypothesis, and does not move past that at the point. It will, however, become part of a larger theory, that of dinosaur ecology in southern Canada. In some cases, independent results may be someone looking at the same thing and coming to the same conclusions.

Which leads then to theories. Again, a theory never means guess. It is based on a mountain of data, experiments, and observations. It does not focus on a small little portion of data, but a broad concept that touches many things. The theory of evolution does not just focus on the origin on mankind. It focuses on the changes and progression of less complex life to more complex one. Humans are a very small part of the overall picture. And it touches into many disciplines... astronomy and cosmology (origins of the stuff that makes up what we see and how it came together); biology, paleontology, geology; chemistry, history, sociology... the list goes on quite a ways.

All theories are collections of several hypotheses and observations that create a large set of conclusions with a general overtone. The theory of evolution states that all life developed from simpler creatures over time, but there are tens-of-thousands of parts that go into that general conclusion. One important thing to note is that by proving an individual conclusion wrong, you do not invalidate the whole theory. A theory, in and of itself, is hardly ever turned over as false, even when parts are. Science is self-correcting and constantly adapting, and will change to accommodate what the new data and observations point to. It's also fairly rare that a conclusion was devoted to proving something wrong; typically, they're trying to prove the same thing and may come into conflicting results. The scientific process means that the conflicting information comes together and is refined into something even stronger.

That's the beauty inherent in science, that the more its refined, the stronger it gets. We can use astronomy as a wonderful example here, because our knowledge in the field has progressed drastically in the last few decades. This has been driven by a lot of things (and held up by so many others). Generally, before the age of enlightenment, it was the realm of "the heavens." Galileo smashed that apart with basic observation, and Kepler continued to dash a lot of concepts along with it.

But in the last three years, we've gone from simply theorizing that planets were out there, to viewing accretion disc (where stars and planets are born), to indirectly detecting planets (wobble methods and dimming detection), to actually imaging a planet around another star (albeit very blurry and the planet is barely a planet and almost a star). Science has accommodated these changes over time. It used to be that we felt that small stars, like our sun, were the majority, but we were in the minority as a single pair. Most stars were thought to be binaries because that's what we observed. As our imagining skill improved, we classified a whole new generation and type of stars, that of the Red Dwarf (not to be confused with the very funny Brit Sci-Fi show), which is a low-mass/low-luminosity star. They're very hard to see from Earth, but the Hubble is great at detecting them. So we now know that these are the most common type of star. Our understanding constantly changes and revises itself, usually in a "somewhat" straight progression, but often through bursts and zig-zags and complete circles.

There is far more to explain, but this is most likely already the longest post in FBTB history, and I will take time to let it sink in before moving on to further topics in regards to science. There's far more to be said for Evolution, Astronomy, Biology, Sociology, Philosophy, Skepticism, Ethics, and far, far more. Feel free to bring up or propose topics as you see fit.

"Marching Band Music Makes me Hot!"

noreply@blogger.com (Nick) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 13:40:00 +0000

Well, not really. I thought band was a joke (a rather pointless one at that), but I didn't have anything better to do. I abandoned it once I was out of high school.

That being said... the line is a quote, anyway. It's in the

Check out the video on YouTube (sorry, can't embed this one).

Yes, it's a country song. Over the last few years, my music taste has transcended genre. Genre is a marketing concept more than anything, and I just like to listen to stuff I enjoy without such trapping. Plus, my wife likes Country music, so there is that.

Oh, and...

noreply@blogger.com (Nick) — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 06:00:00 +0000

While I'm thinking about it, I think I finally came up with a name for the Sci-Fi story I've been working on lately (and in truth, for years).

Disaccord

It makes sense in the story line, since it's about a group fighting against something called the Accords for Genetic Purity (legal action designed to persecute anyone who falls outside the Accords). Well, it makes sense to me.

Can't sleep... clown 'ill eat me...

noreply@blogger.com (Nick) — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 05:35:00 +0000

For the record, that's one of my all time favorite Simpson's lines. It's 12:30 and I gave up trying to get to sleep about 30 minutes ago. I wasn't feeling well today, stayed home sick, and crashed for most of the afternoon. It's apparently caught up to me now, being wide awake when I'd rather be sleeping.

Today's quote: "One pair of hands grasping a shovel will do far more good than a thousand hands closed in prayer" - Phil Plait.

I liked when I first read that, and it's something I'd said many times, both during and post faith. Nothing is more insulting or impersonal as saying "I'll pray for you" when someone is in legitimate need for help. It's honestly the Christian equivalent of "I'll call you" when you really have no intent of doing so. Well, maybe not quite, because maybe they do pray, but that does nothing. It never has.

It's odd, but the most content I've been in my life has probably the last four years or so, which is what I'd define as my true "post faith" time. Since I stopped getting wrapped in all the pointless junk, I had more time to focus on what was important. I started actually working for it instead of wishing (some would call it praying) for it. I've gotten married, progressed in my career (to the point my college degree actually had a point), and have expanded myself mentally.

I'm not sure what prompted throwing all this up here on my blog. Not like anyone reads it (at least that I know of). And those that may don't comment. It was just odd running across an old contact online, and I've taken the time to look up a few others. Not sure how most of the people who knew me in college would react now. The few I've seen would probably offer to pray for me (and if you're reading, don't bother; it won't do any good). I welcome you to talk to or contact me instead. Perhaps we ask ourselves why it's been so long between when we'd talked.

Like I said, I doubt I'll hear anything. Most people that I knew in college didn't talk to me my last year, when I stopped attending the campus ministry I'd been a part of for four years previous. I can still count on one fist how many times I was asked where I was.

Anyway, I'm just sitting here building some Glade Riders for my Wood Elf Warhammer army and contemplating putting together the LEGO set I bought last weekend. My office is a mess... a mixture of an explosion of books, LEGO, computers, and Warhammer models. Not to mention all the paint. Sheesh... it's 1 AM now.

I didn't lose my faith. I discarded it.

noreply@blogger.com (Nick) — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 19:24:00 +0000

In a continuing kick that I've been on as of late, I felt like sharing my trip from dedicated Christian to increasingly annoyed atheist. Yep, that's right, I used to be a Christian. I want to make it clear on one point... I didn't lose faith, I threw it away. It was never a moment of "why me" in the whole mix. I've always accepted that the world is imperfect, and shit happens. It's not because of some great fall though, it's because of basic scientific concepts like natural selection and an outstandingly complex biosphere.

This road started years ago for me. First, it's because, like all other teenagers, I really enjoyed sex. Sex is a great thing, and we're wired to want to do it. Of course, church had me scared shitless away from it, but like the vast majority of other kids, my baser instincts took control. I never knocked a girl up or anything, but of course, given that I raised in the church, I didn't use condoms or the like. I was lucky in a way that thousands of kids aren't every day.

In college, it only got worse. I got involved in a group called Chi Alpha (XA) Campus Ministries. Mind you, they were very cool, sort of. As far as "churches" go, they were nice. Good people my age and very good at talking to the college scene.

Still, I have this problem, one that's kind of weird. I have a very, very hard time giving into a suspension of disbelief. I can imagine things, believe fantastical things about the universe, and write my own fiction that, in itself, requires said suspension. But I can't do it very well myself. I never heard, or honestly, even felt God. I got caught up in the moment like so many others, but that's about it. Hindsight being what it is, I look at it now and remember what it was like. And it wasn't all that special.

I'd already gotten away from my church back home. Anytime I went back, people I'd known for most of my life forgot who I was, and the little voice in the back of my head kept urging me to tell them to fuck themselves with sticks. I was always "Mary's oldest son," and that just irked me. Part of that was my parent's fault... they never felt the need to be involved in or discuss my life. That's probably why I never talk to them now. So, home church was a wash.

Now back to college, because that's where I took my first steps. In my first senior year (the effect of changing my major too many damn times), I went through some major changes in my life. Suffice it to say, it was all for the better, but because of a major change in the relationship era. This pain caused me to run to God, and I probably was at the depths of my delusion at that point. I was involved in everything and in the blissful contentment of ignorance.

Of course, while I was trying to get even more involved and back into a leadership role (something I'd done for a couple of years before taking a year off), I was told that "they felt my faith needed more time." In that moment, the whole illusion was shattered. I was infuriated and broken at the same time, and realized that this organization I'd spent so many hours on was no longer useful. It was an epiphany of sorts.

I made it out of my problems without their help. I met my wife, whom I love dearly. There was no divine plan, it was good (hell, it was great) fortune. Ironically, we started to talk because of that organization. We also worked at the same place, and that was a far bigger part.

Mind you, there was far more. I've always been caught up in Science, though I was a physics/astronomy fan more than Biology. So, I managed to dodge a big part of the whole Evolution vs. Creation nonsense, but there's equally as much nonsense in the realm of astronomy. While there, I met two of the smartest people I've ever known.

One was my roommate, Eric, who was a nice guy that was a pretty bad friend. He was amazingly talented, studying to be a doctor, and most likely still is a Young Earth creationist. I thought we were close, but when I was going through all my problems, he was too busy to share any time with me. We happened to share a house for a summer, and I saw him even less. He'd decided to give up medicine and become a Youth Minister, and as far as I know, followed through with it. Like I said, Creationist, so I remember when I lost a great deal of respect for him... it involved the whole Great Flood and Noah thing. How could anyone studying medicine, which required biology, understand that? He knew the level of complexity in the world, so how he could still believe baffled me. A near fatal blow to my intellectual respect for him came after he gave a talk on modern cults. Of course, he listed Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam and Mormonism in there.

I've always had a huge issue with the contrast of religion. They all believe they're the right one, and their justification for that is that they're right and everyone else is wrong. It's all social conditioning, and that's that. I'm sure if I was raised in Islam I'd believe it was right and Christians were full of shit, until I decided it was all crap and walked on.

Another is one I hadn't thought about until I found a link to his blog on a religious site that'd been linked (and rightfully mocked) by a science blog I was reading. Glen was a great guy that was also very smart, and enjoyed science. Of course, he was an apologist, trying to reconcile science and religion. I remember discussions about evolution and astronomy, and the explanations trying to fit God in where there wasn't a need for him. I will give him some serious credit though, since he first introduced me to Bad Astronomy, way back in the day.

It was odd thinking about them last week, and knowing where I am now. I'd read a bit of Glen's blog and had to close it eventually. It wasn't a sudden conversion to where I am now, it was gradual. I started to spend more of my time reading science and history stuff, and that started to bend the armor. Enjoying sex with my wife before she was my wife helped too (and it was nice and monogamous). Then I started to read. I wandered across Skeptic magazine when it had Mythbusters on it, whom I just love. After that, it touched me off with several other books, and eventually, Penn & Teller's Bullshit!, and the work of Penn Jillette in general.

It still wasn't a revalation, more like a realization. I figured out that what I felt was being pushed to what I was starting to believe. It was to simply disinterested about religion to agnosticism to atheism.

Of course, even if I'm wrong about it, I'm not sure I care. While I know that most Christians are actually good people (well, most of them are actually Christians in name only), there are a ton that are complete fuck heads. Those asshats protesting funerals because God hates Gays, the people who kill and torture kids because they feel they're entitled, fanatics in general... If any one of them ends up in some paradise, I'd rather take an eternity in hell for being true to myself and the beliefs I've developed.

Atheism isn't a leap of faith. It's moving past the need of faith. I no longer have to consider the questions and worry about some mysterious asshole fairy looking over my shoulder if I happen to lie or swear. I could ascribe plenty of other adjectives to the almighty based on reading the bible (I have, a few times), that paint him/her/it in a terrible light (you know, like why was he a complete asshole for the first few thousand years of existence only to go all hippie and talk about loving everyone), but won't.

What's always weird to me is that there's this idea that being an atheist is somehow equated to being amoral. That only by following some god or fairy (perhaps Elvis) can you have moral. If you don't believe in god(s), you're not accountable to anyone. But that's plain horseshit. We are always accountable to the people around us. Atheists just do it because that's how societies operate.

noreply@blogger.com (Nick) — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 20:50:00 +0000

For today's entertainment...

http://www.isthisyour.name/

Your name in Binary?
	In Binary, Nicholas Martin is: 01001110 01101001 01100011 01101000 01101111 01101100 01100001 01110011 00100000 01001101 01100001 01110010 01110100 01101001 01101110 .
Encode your name, find your Power Animal, and check your envowelment at isthisyour.name

Who's there and the what now?

noreply@blogger.com (Nick) — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 14:30:00 +0000

I've probably used this title before. I honestly don't remember, and I'm too lazy to go and look.

I've been on a bunch of weird kicks lately. I've gotten wrapped up in several new science blogs, including:

BadAstronomy.com
Pharyngula (even though I'm not a huge fan of Biology topics)
RichardDawkins.net

The first is the funniest. I'd run across a link for BadAstronomy on Digg, and recognized it right away. I'd read it years ago, over moon hoaxes and other such nonsense. Since the last time I'd been there, the owner of the site had posted a picture. He looked familiar, and it dawned on me... he was on Penn & Teller's Bullshit! (which is on of the best shows ever). I had to re-watch the episode in question, since TV.com had nothing on it, and sure enough, it was Phil Plait, same as the BA guy.

I've been going through his archives, and through it, have found a whole lot of other treasures, like finding a link to an archive of Penn Jillette's radio show, that Joe Rogan is still a douche (and not especially funny), and several nifty pictures.

I'm a firm believer in the obvious explanations. The moon landing happened, because no matter what with the conspiracy, it just doesn't make sense on a practical level. Why would we fake the moon landing? I've heard cold war arguments and all, but that doesn't hold a lot of water. It makes more sense that we'd just do it, since faking would be, in a lot of ways, much more difficult. Random nutjobs kill people, like the kids that shoot up schools, the 9/11 attackers, and people that assassinate presidents. Each one has some conspiracy around it, and there is one... but that's the truth that was presented. Take 9/11... Islamic jihadists hijacked planes because the tooth fairy told them too, killed thousands of innocent people, and caused billions of dollars in damage. That's a conspiracy enough.

Most days, I believe the world would be a far better place if there was no religion and no imaginary deities to deal with. Fact is, we should be good to others because those are human values, and all religion tries to give us is intolerance and hatred. Dressing it up in a fancy bow doesn't make it good.

I forget this is here sometimes

noreply@blogger.com (Nick) — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 16:57:00 +0000

It's true. As you can tell, since it's been months since I've done anything with it at all. Sad, I know, because there are perhaps dozens of people who care what I think. Well, probably not, but my loyal reader might. If there is such a thing. It's hard to tell at times.

Not that I have a whole ton to report. I picked up a new hobby (again). Well, not new, it's something that I enjoyed in High School, a game called Warhammer. Basically, it's a table-top wargame using little miniatures. Fantasy battles or Sci-Fi, it has both versions. But the real fun is that the guys come unpainted and unassembled. I wanted to paint them, so I picked them up. They now dominate the office.

I also picked up a part-time job to help feed that habit, doing some reporting. It's rather relaxing, compared to my real job, and pays well. I wouldn't complain if I got a full-time gig doing that and left Gateway. Not in the slightest.

It's given me some time to think, honestly. In June, I crossed five-years at my job. Not any slight achievement, in itself, and I've come a long ways here. But I never wanted to work here, it was simply a job. There weren't a whole ton of options when I left school, since the computer industry was still recovering from bubbles bursting and the like. Now, there are a lot more options, and I have a lot more experience.

And I don't want to be here anymore. I realized that after coming back from a week off. I simply don't want to work for this company, and I don't want to do what I'm doing. It pays well, but it's aggravating most of the time. The company is slowly dying a horrible death, since it won't make the decisions it needs to in order to survive.

Beyond that, I'm not happy around Sioux City either. It sucks as a town, there's not much to do, and I have to travel to feed my habits of LEGO and Warhammer.

When I left school, I had no idea what I really wanted to do. In a lot of ways, I still don't. I know what I'd love to do... I'd love to write or take up 3D animation for a place like Pixar. But I don't have time to write or the skills to animate, and I don't have the time to pick up the skills, and it's impossible to do around Sioux City anyway. I keep kicking around getting my masters, but don't know what I'd pursue it in. That'd give me the option of teaching professionally, which is something that I basically do now as a trainer.

My wife and I both want to move closer to her parents. I love my in-laws (more than my own parents, truth be told). They live eight hours away (and to emphasize the last parenthetical, I've seen them more than my owner parents in the last year, and my parents live across town). We're looking at having kids next year, and we want them to be close enough to enjoy the young terrors. Our compromise in this matter in Kansas City, which is about three hours north of where they live. I can find work there, and it's not too "overwhelming" for my wife. She nixed my idea of St. Louis (cause I love my Cardinals), but even that's a few hours away, compared to the crap load of distance it is now.

I have friends up here, and I'd miss them. But we've stayed friends over distance before, and still would. I don't have issues traveling to have fun now and again, and it'd be a great excuse to drag them out of here too. I seriously started looking at jobs, and need to get my resume fixed up, but would love to have a new job by September. I've never taken such a long move before, so it'd be interesting finding a place to live, etc, in the interim. But I'd like the challenge.

Anyway, how are you?

Sigh...

noreply@blogger.com (Nick) — Wed, 09 May 2007 15:29:00 +0000

I know I've been awful about updating this for my two loyal readers, but it's been a busy few months. Mostly work, which seems to have me somewhere between happy and just wanting to scream I quit and walking out. Some days, I think I'd love nothing more than just giving my notice and leaving. It feels like I'm getting slowly buried up to my neck, and I'm not sure what to do.

When I first took this job, I handled training for direct technical support, the documents, etc. Since then, we've added two international calls, a retail call, and training classes for the local center. Add on to that how little time I get to get everything done, and the constant battles with other departments for material that doesn't suck goat balls, and it's a stressful life. Beyond that, it doesn't look like it'll get any better in the future.

I'm tired of arguing with engineers about how things should be presented to techs. I hate to say it, but tech support agents are essentially the fast food workers of IT. They are not hired because of degrees, certifications, or the like, they're usually hired with a basic understanding (and I mean basic) of computers and the fact that they have a pulse. Giving them engineering specs and expecting anything to stick is just stupid. I have this argument with one of the departments that generates material for new products every single time we launch something, and I'm tired of it. I get sick of catching flak for cutting "reference" material that's not referenced anywhere in the document. I get 45 minutes a week to get all this stuff in, no more. I'm just tired of it.

Add to that a naggling feeling of being sick for the last couple of weeks, going to the doctor and getting a call this morning about coming in for a glucose test, since I'm showing developmental signs of diabetes, it's been an iffy day so far.

But hey, it's not all bad. An old boss called me about doing some contract work for his company, part time, and I'll be making some extra money to support my various hobbies and habits. That'll be nice.

An honest look...

noreply@blogger.com (Nick) — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 18:40:00 +0000

This is a moment I decided to take to look at myself. An honest look, that is, not one of those semi-delusional ones that most of us enjoy our lives in, but an honest one.

I am very anti-religion and a border-line atheist. I say border-line because I'm still trying to work all the Christian out of me. I was born and raised in that faith, and kept with it through college. I started to move away at the end, because I found that sex and drinking were a little more fun than church. It's not to say I was doing it to excess in either. I married the girl I was sleeping with, and love her dearly. I never have been busted for DUI (and never would be, since I take precautions against driving when I go out drinking) and have only gotten in trouble for coming back to a dorm room a little too drunk once.

I suppose that doesn't explain where atheism comes into the mix, does it? Well, I enjoy the intellectual life. That's not to say I am one... I was never cut out for a life of science. But I love to read and to explore ideas. I get called a know-it-all more than I'd like, but you know what? Most of those that get to know me eventually realize that what I know I can back up and what I don't I don't pretend to. If I don't know much about a subject, I'll keep quiet.

A passion of mine is astronomy. To a point, science in general, but astronomy and physics in general. Fact is, the universe is billions upon billions of years old, we're made of space dust and evolution is real. Observation and experimentation have laid this out for us quite plainly. That doesn't so much pull up atheism as it does push away the right-wing bullshit machine so common in America today.

If I have a flaw (and truth be told, I have many) I'd pick out as my biggest, it'd be my absolute intolerance for misinformation. We're not talking about someone not knowing something or being mistaken here. I'm a trainer in my career and I writing training information, so I'm use to people not knowing things. I certainly don't know a lot, but that's what learning is about. And I've been wrong many times before, so that's not it. No... what I really hate is when people knowingly perpetuate wrong information for their own agenda.

I get into a lot at work. There are several different kinds of "technical" people and I work with them all. There are the techs that only see their world, and that's okay, but they get annoyed at us people that are involved in a bigger picture. There are engineers, and they see the world as one big spec sheet. Then, there are the people that really grate at me, the people that get opinions stuck in their heads and stick to them and never let trivial things like fact or truth stand in their way.

Case in point, we're dealing with this now... people seem to bad-mouth partners that load their software on our system. My opinion, you don't bite the hand that feeds you. It's just a bad idea. But I hear people giving advice to our techs that's just simply bad, and I want to smack them around. Things that were true a decade ago, but no longer really hold any water. More than one person on my training calls has gotten smacked down over stuff like this.

Again, that's computers, not my general world view. But it gives you an idea how much I hate willful ignorance. But, the fact is, the same thing extends to religion. You can only be an intelligent person in there so long before you grow tired of the self delusion that permeates the whole thing. The whole Evolution vs. Creationism (and its retarded step-cousin Intelligent Design) is just asinine, especially considering one half of the argument is basically perpetuating misinformation and bullshit. At best, the information is out of date (such as the lack of a fossil record, since there has been a hundreds of discoveries that have filled it in quite nicely). Or the whole "evolution is nothing more than a theory" horseshit you see in all the arguments.

Sidebar: My normal reply to that is "well no fucking shit, moron." Yes, you are correct. Science is governed by a process that takes ideas, moves them into observations, which become hypothesis, which become theories. Just about everything science is a theory, not just evolution. Astronomy is governed by theories. Particle Physics is a theory, as is electromagnetism, as is just about everything else. Earth goes around the Sun... that's a theory. Yes, it's backed up by a huge amount of observation, but the theory none-the-less.

I don't have kids yet, and I'm not sure how I will teach them about the world. But I know that I don't want the crap circling around in America today sticking to them. If they decide to go to a life of faith, I accept that. But I'm not going to lie to them as they grow up just to keep them from seeing the truth of the world.

And that, my friends, is why I am who I am.

I swear to whatever, I'm not dead

noreply@blogger.com (Nick) — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 00:06:00 +0000

But I have been exceedingly busy lately. Between Vista training, work, programming, and general life, my idle internet time has really gone down. It's not just here, it's everywhere. By the time I get home, I want to unwind, which usually means TV or World of Warcraft, so browsing loses out again.

Anyway, this is a short blurb. I don't really want this thing to die, but you know. I did find a fun little test earlier.

Take the Stupid Test!

For the record, it's not a stupid test, rather, it's a Stupid Test... see how "stupid" you are. I was rather lucky in my endevors with it...

You know, it happens to the best of us...

noreply@blogger.com (Nick) — Thu, 04 Jan 2007 10:13:00 +0000

I've slacked, I know. My friend Colleen was kind enough to point that one out... 8P

Fact is, I've been absurdly busy at work the last couple of months, and that's where I got most of my quality posting time in. But, back in late November, I was "realigned" to a new department. I liked my old boss, but to be honest, he wasn't that great of a boss. The new department I'm is the same one that had given me headaches over the past few months. Of course, now, I no longer had to butt heads with them, and that actually relieved a great deal of stress from my life.

A raise in the whole mess didn't hurt either. That being said, it did bring about a lot of work. Instead of spending most of my day trying to justify what I was doing, I now simply had to do my job and then train it. Before, I was basically in a different power structure than all the groups I was training, so not only did I have to get approval from my house, I had to get approval from all the others. It was a chore. Now, I work for the same people that run the call centers I train, and my life has gotten a lot easier.

The work has only been amplified by the upcoming release of Windows Vista. To be fair, I think people will be quite pleasantly surprised by the release, which has a whole lot more functionality than people give it credit for. Yes, there is a significant "eye-candy" face lift in there, but under the hood, there's some power too. My last post was made shortly after I returned from Seattle for my training on the subject. Now, I'm being sent all over the globe to do the training myself. To that end, I'll be in Ireland next week, training our UK call center on how to use Vista. After that, more groups being trained in the States.

But hey, Ireland. Sadly, I'll be working the vast majority of the days I'll be there. I leave Saturday, arrive Sunday (which is frightening on it's own). Start training on Monday, wrap up on Friday, and I'm out early Saturday. So, I will get a bit of time in, but most of it will be working. No vacation to see here. There will most likely be some drinking though...

Anyway, I suppose I could toss in a little bit of LEGO stuff here. I had a bit of time off over the holidays, among them, the three-day weekend over New Years that my wife and I dedicated to doing absolutely nothing. So, in that vein, I felt the need to embrace my inner child and cover our apartment in my LEGO toys.

You'll find a great variety of sets there, like Batman, Star Wars, City, Vikings, and Castle. Hey, someone needs to answer the question of who'd win a battle... Vikings or Clone Troopers. The situation has improved considerably, though I still have more sets built than I have room to display. My drawing table is still covered with sets, which inhibits activities like work or drawing on it. Ah well...

Who's there and the what now?

noreply@blogger.com (Nick) — Fri, 10 Nov 2006 15:48:00 +0000

So now it's Friday. I really wish I had a whole lot of insight and information to put here, but I really don't. I did vote on Tuesday, a mixture between democrat and "what in the hell is this person," while at the same time, I've just been sitting around most of my nights. My wife started a new job this week, and she doesn't get home until around 8:30-9, so yeah, makes for some boring nights. No real LEGO stuff to speak of, except my recent trip to Seattle (training) and the Bellevue LEGO store. The spoils of said trip are in the picture. Two little sets, and a whole bunch of loose parts. It was fun, and I got a lot of nifty stuff.

Thursday once again!

noreply@blogger.com (Nick) — Wed, 25 Oct 2006 18:18:00 +0000

Oddly enough, this always seems to be updated on Thursdays. I'm not sure why, that's just sort of how it falls out. Weird, isn't it. Overall, there's not much to report on in life or in general. Last weekend, I went out and picked up a couple of LEGO sets, including that little crane I posted last time. I also picked up a little viking fortress, because, you know, you can't go wrong with Vikings.

Thursday...

noreply@blogger.com (Nick) — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 15:56:00 +0000

You know, I've had this thing open every day this week, and just couldn't decide what I wanted to type about. There are just so many things out there. North Korea being a douche and pissing off the rest of the world, the looming introduction of the Playstation 3 and Nintendo Wii, LEGO's first set to feature a Port-a-Pot (see the right... the little LEGO TP really sets it off), or my growing hatred of the whole idea of "micro-payments."

I think I'll start with the LEGO set, which is a little crane. I have this grand idea that I'm going to build a few different displays. When I eventually get a house, I have this idea to build up displays. Best-case, these will amount to tables that I can use to store both my LEGO parts and boxes and serve as a nifty display. If my habits remain the same, I will need at least three tables, as well as some shelves and cabinets for other displays. I collect a few different sets (which is how LEGO gets divided up): Star Wars, Castle, City, Batman... and we recently received word that LEGO is bringing back Classic Space, so I'll have to get that one too. I also have a whole list of back-product that I need to pick up still, and there are these really cool LEGO train sets I've been thinking about getting as well. So, the displays would go up with these, having all my stuff laid out on the table.

Eventually, I need to come up with another source of revenue to feed this particular addiction. I don't know if it will be a part time job or what, but right now, I have x amount of disposible income I can pour into my collection, and I need about 5x as much to get everything. The fact that I've been building some of my own custom stuff, I spend a bit on bricks. If I want to get into city, I need to cut down on the loose brick orders. Or I need to start selling my own loose bricks. This of course doesn't count that I need to still backfill my Star Wars sets (which will cost me about $3,000 in the end, and that doesn't count future releases).

Right now, I'm balancing between a few different other needs as well. Christmas is coming up, so I have to figure out some gifts and the such. My in-laws usually get me gift cards, here's hoping they go for Target over Best Buy this year. I'm not sure what we'll be getting them, but for my family, we have a secret santa, and I drew my cousin's husband. I've met the guy once, last Christmas, so I have no idea. My wife represents an equally mysterious problem... no idea what she really wants at this point. I do know that I need to go out day after Thanksgiving, since it looks like some LEGO sets will be on sale at Target that day (including a set that's being re-released that I missed last cycle). And, my wife hates those days, so I'm going alone.

Sometime in the future, I need to upgrade my computer. Vista is coming out, and mine is getting a bit long in the tooth. It used to be that I upgraded components every six months, but recently, it's fallen off quite a bit. The last component upgrade was over a year ago, and for some things, like my processor and motherboard (the guts), it's been over a year. I'd set the expectation with my wife that when Vista came out next year, I was going to upgrade or purchase a new computer, and the limit I set was $2400, give or take. And it will be a total overhaul of the system. New drives, new cards, new parts, new case, new keyboards. I'll keep my monitor, because it still rules, but other than that, wll new. Been awhile since I've had a totally new system.

Now if you've made it this far, that's just awesome. But you're probably wondering what I mean about micro-payments and why I hate them. Actually, you probably don't care, but here we are. Micro-payments are a new way that video game companies can use to screw customers out of money, something that's been commonplace on Cell Phones for years. You know what I mean, when they talk about all these special features and things you can do, but they end up requiring a $5 download and a $2/month subscrition.

Why does this anger me now? I could ignore it on my phone, I use that thing to make call and snap the occasional picture. Where it hits me is with Video Games. I own an Xbox 360, and I like sports titles. I picked up Madden 2007 this year (like I do every year). The game is already annoying, because they totally changed how the controls and setup works for the 360, not to mention that they took out some of the best features, like roster edits, create-a-player, etc. The absolutely hideous camera in Superstar mode makes that whole thing worthless, and in my mind, it's a subpar game.

But what's worse is that they started to release "unlockable" stadiums and uniforms for the game on Xbox Live Marketplace for the "budget" price of 200 points (about $1). Sounds like a cheap little thing, except that these used to be included with the game. And they still are included with the PS2 and Xbox version of the game. So basically, because I owe an Xbox 360, I get charged for free content. Yeah, they can screw themselves in the ear.

Are we having fun yet?

noreply@blogger.com (Nick) — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 14:25:00 +0000

I know, I know... I keep changing my template and setup, and should probably stop. This time, there's a sneakier reason... I saw the little "Blogger Beta" thing, and just couldn't help myself. So here we are, dear old friends...

Anyway, I said I would update it, and I was really trying to get to it. The business continues, sadly, which is good and bad, and doesn't look to be letting up soon. I spent the last three weeks generating new hire content for work, and all of last week training that content at one of our call center sites. I spent a week in Florida, and really didn't get out of the call center or the hotel all that much.

But, I did get to watch some baseball. My Cardinals seem like they've shaken off the funk from the last part of the season. Everyone favors the Mets, but let's look at how the "favored" team is doing so far. The Mets have lost their strongest two pitchers, their bullpen was already non-existant, and the bats were there, but not in full force, against the Dodgers. The Yankees were favored to win it all, and after a game 1 hiccup, the Tigers handled them like a pee-wee team. So, I'm thinking the Cards have enough to make it through the Mets. Unfortunately, I don't think they have enough to make it through the AL.

Football... sigh. Bledsoe still sucks, and can't bring a team from behind for the win. He makes stupid decisions and throws passes a 3rd string backup rookie stepping in for the starting role wouldn't do. Just pathetic. The Bears are my hot pick; they're not just hurting teams, they're crushing them. They remind me a lot of the 1998 Rams. They just have one problem... Rex Grossman, while playing so well, is the center of the team. If he gets hurt, and that is so amazingly likely... the offense falls apart. They'll be back where they were before, unable to get over the hump because the offense was a one-trick, "run the ball" pony. The Defense looks amazing, but it hasn't gotten them there yet.

It's been an interesting season, thus far. The Manning boys need to start winning games without falling behind by 10 or more points. This is just silly. The Ravens look interesting, but they're winning in the clutch too much to go all the way. For the AFC, it's really kind of up in the air this year. SD looks good, but lost to the Ravens. The Dolphins are garbage. The Patriots have a chance to go to the Super Bowl again, just because of how weak their competition is.

The "Media" sucks, more specifically, the news structures. I could care less about the left or right slant... I get all of my politics from the Daily Show and Colbert Report anyway, fake news is more accurate than wrong news. But the somewhat tragic death of Yankee's relief pitcher Lidle is a sure sign that someone needs to start brow-beating some of these ass-hats. Instead of asking a pilot what happened, they just started guessing, crying terrorists, when in fact, this was all pilot error.

I'm still working on my endless quest creating a little LEGO village. I'm thinking that I might make this a themed sort of deal, and I can sell my wife on this if I make it "Christmasy," and use it as some sort of Xmas villiage. I've gotten two houses built so far, but I'm out of a lot of the crucial parts that I need to make this work. I suppose I really need to post pictures so you know what I'm doing.

Sigh...

noreply@blogger.com (Nick) — Sat, 07 Oct 2006 21:02:00 +0000

Just so my two dedicated readers out there know, I haven't abandonded my blog, I've just been rediculously busy the last few weeks with work. Between developing a new training cirriculum at work and travelling to Florida for a week to do training, simply haven't had time. But hey, I'll get some of it up and going again shortly.

noreply@blogger.com (Nick) — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 20:33:00 +0000

Ahhhhhhhhhh!

That's been my general sentiment over the last couple of days, while I've been working through this massive project. Essentially, it's been a tug of war between departments for information. My department is responsible for training tech agents and trainers, who need the info. The department that's supposed to provide it apparently doesn't want to share. If our techs don't know, they can't support customers, and if customers get crappy support, they don't buy, and if customers don't buy stuff, we don't get bonuses. Yet, I still don't get the information.

I noticed the Powerball Jackpot is up to $179 million, which would amount to a $85 million one-time payout (and would then be about $55 million after taxes and the like). Of course, I then pondered what'd it'd be like to win that. Assuming I survived the massive heart attack that'd be sure to occur when I learned I had the winning ticket, I'd probably quit. Immediately. Not over this stuff, but just because I'd never again have to do any real work.

I'd be an eccentric millionare. Not in the Michael Jackson buying Girraffes and touching kids sort of way, but more of the "I have enough money that now all of my dreams can come true" sort of way. I think the first order of duty would be making sure some of my friends are taken care of. There's a spoken deal between a few of us that the first person who wins the lottery has to "employ" the others. I was thinking something like $60k/year + benefits, require them to play whatever game I feel like dabbling in that day, or running errands.

My more recent LEGO fixation would probably dominate most early purchases. There are some forty LEGO stores in the US, and it'd be hard for me to visit them all. So I was thinking I'd probably go buy four decked out trucks or the like, and then send said "lackeys" out to different regions. My wife and I would probably wander around the US some as well, just seeing things and wasting money. And buying an absurd amount of LEGO. I'm pretty sure there's this lawyer I know that'd have to go on retainer or something, even though she's not a defense attourney. She'd spend it all on shoes. Maybe I'd just agree to pay off her college loans for legal advice. I'd have to make an accountant friend too...

Of course, there's the pre-requiste house I'd build. I'm thinking somewhere in Texas, on the Gulf coast, so I can enjoy the Dallas Cowboys season tickets I'd buy (and drive in for the weekend). I'd get Cardinals season tickets too, but that'd be for the time we visit the in-laws. Since I'm on the coast, I'd have to get a nice big boat as well, so I can go out on the water and play with LEGO. Sure, there's the risk of hurricanes, but you know what? I don't care. The ocean is by far the most relaxing sound I know of, and I'd want to be close.

Nothing would be better then owning my own stretch of beach, or maybe a little island, have some palm trees and a hammock, stick a cooler of beer in the sand, and just tap away on my laptop and write the novel I've been working on for years. A couple of the paid lackeys would be required to move, which I'm certain they wouldn't care about (since they'd get to enjoy Dallas games and they'd be paid to play video games and watch TV). Maybe I'd make them do real work, like maintinence or the like.

The real question would be what would I do to make sure I keep money as well? It's not hard to get rich, but with my habits, it'd be hard to stay that way. I was thinking about opening something like a toy store, or a design business, or a video game company. Maybe just invest it, I don't know. I wouldn't go nuts over a kajillion cars or a private jet (though I would be first class from then on every time I fly), but would like a nice place I could work and live. Something open and lively.

I'd also probably buy a bunch of land and let it revert to wilderness. Take out things like roads and fields, plant trees and just let nature be nature for awhile. Build my own private lake, perhaps? Though I wouldn't own a jet, it'd be cool to learn how to fly and buy a plane. I'd travel around the world some as well, just because I think people should.

Course, if I pose this question to my wife, she'd answer "pay bills." She's far to grounded in reality.

Pipe dream though. More likely to get killed by a terrorist then to win the lotto (and you're 10x more likely to get killed by a deer then you are to get killed by a terrorist). But hey, it's fun to dream while you're piddling away at work.

noreply@blogger.com (Nick) — Mon, 18 Sep 2006 15:44:00 +0000

Anyway, I said I'd (try to) continue my list, so I will

51. Always tell the people you love that you love them. Never assume they know it
52. Freedom is worth dying for (and what our country is doing in Iraq has nothing to do with Freedom)
53. When you cook, do it right. Don't take shortcuts and don't buy cheap ingredients
54. Never trust a restaraunt that lkeeps a scale next to a cooking surface, they're just looking to do the bare minimum it takes to keep your business (the cafeteria at work is notorious for this)
55. Be unique
56. Read news from outside the US, and realize that everyone, even CNN, has an agenda
57. Don't be afraid to watch something controversial
58. Don't be afraid to laugh when something is funny
59. When you're at a wedding, dance with someone
60. Money doesn't buy happiness, but when you don't have it, happiness is in short supply
61. If you win the lotto, take care of your friends
62. Help those that need your help, even if it wasn't on the news
63. Get a pet
64. Don't dismiss hunting or fishing until you know what purpose they serve, and how important both are to the conservation efforts in North America. To date, hunters are the only group that's lobbied for a tax increase on their hobby
65. Don't be afraid to eat meat
66. If you make an enemy, make sure you deserved it
67. Understand what love is and what love means. It's not about what you feel, it's about what you do because of what you feel
68. Never, ever, tell a tech "I'm computer illiterate"
69. Not everyone that plays video games or watches violent movies is going to shoot up a school. Eventually, the person in the White House will have grown up playing Nintendo.
70. Take a walk on a nice day
71. Take, and share, pictures
72. If you tease, expect to get teased back. That's why it's fun.
73. Don't be afraid to do things on your own
74. Know when you need to stop doing things on your own and call the experts
75. Visit another country, and don't expect them to speak English if that's not their native tongue
76. If you own a computer, back up your stuff. Don't blame the manufacturer when it fails and you lose everything. It's not their fault.
77. Make new friends
78. Stick with your teams. No one likes fair-weather fans and bandwagoners
79. Understand that the Dallas Cowboys are the best football team ever, the Cardinals are the best baseball team ever. If you disagree, expect an argument. ; )
80. Kids can be the center of your world, but don't remind your friend that every moment you're with them
81. Know when to walk away
82. Read someone else's blog
83. Know history, and understand things like World War I and World War II, and why the conflicts of today are nothing like them. Don't trust any politician who's implicates they are to garner support
84. Privacy makes us secure; violation of it does not make us safer
85. Recording and archiving broadcasts is perfectly legal, as is time-shifting and fair use. Don't let broadcast companies spoil things like Media Center and TiVo.
86. Open Source is not the answer to all of lifes ills
87. Free does not better, Open Source does not mean free
88. Support NASA, and petition to keep the president from destroying it
89. Support free enterprise space development, since it can do things NASA can't
90. Protest putting roads through national parks. People are too afraid to walk or go off-road. The land is beautiful, and should not be scarred by pavement
91. Do not speak against software unless you've used it yourself
92. When it's appropriate, teach kids about responsibility with their bodies and in their relations. Abstinence is a good idea, but only teaching abstinence is irresponsible and dangerous
93. Men should not argue for or against a woman's right to chose. While the father should have a voice, it is ultimately the woman's body, and should remain her choice
94. Support the death penalty. Some people just need to die for what they've done
95. Most of all, don't worry about regrets in your life. Everyone has them, and we all have to deal with it. For every regret, there should be twice as many joys

noreply@blogger.com (Nick) — Fri, 15 Sep 2006 01:19:00 +0000

I'm usually loathe at even thinking about MySpace, but after watching Bones this week, I had to find who sang the song at the end. Bones, along with Scrubs, is responsible for probably half of my music collection that isn't by bands I listened to in high school.

So, I found the artist, Susan Enan, and depressingly, she doesn't have an album out there, or even Mp3s released. But her MySpace site has a couple of songs you can listen to. Take a listen to Bring on the Wonder... it's just amazing. Very Sarah McLachlan (allow me to once against state that I like Sarah McLachlan, and I am not gay) like, but so simple. Josh Radin was another artist like this I had to chase down like this, so I went so far as registering with her MySpace site and getting on the newsletter, so I know when something is out for me to buy.

noreply@blogger.com (Nick) — Thu, 14 Sep 2006 16:47:00 +0000

There's a site I've enjoyed reading recently on the 95 "Geek" Theses of Activism, which was an interesting take on life. Some of them I agree on, some of them I don't. I was thinking on them a bit, and thought what I would put on there. I'm not sure if I can get to 95, but I know there are some things that I define my life by.

My Theses

1. I think people need non-destructive passions. We are defined by our passions, and they make life what it is. I'm not talking things like love here, but the little things we wrap ourselves around. For me, I love LEGO things. I love sports, reading, writing, cooking. Everyone needs a hobby, but beyond that, we all need something we feel passionate about as well.
2. I think Jesus would relate more to the movie Dogma by Kevin Smith then he would to anything with "Left Behind" in the title. In fact, I'm quite certain, if he was here today, he'd take that whip to every church out there, for seriously missing the point of what he was about.
3. I think anyone who decides they're done learning something new has become a detriment to society. You cannot stand still on the advancement of mankind.
4. I don't believe in conspiracy theories.
5. I do believe the government lies to us
6. Terrorists blew up the towers and hit the Pentegon. I don't need to say I think, they just did. Anyone who says differently should be beaten.
7. I'm an asshole, and I wholly believe that my right as an American is to be that asshole. Freedom of Speech isn't about flowry words and saying what has to be said. It's about saying what you believe, what you can, and saying what should be said.
8. I think everyone in the post 9/11 word needs to take a moment and calm the fuck down every now and again
9. I think the news media should be required to say "you're 100x more likely to die in a car crash then to meet a terrorist, let alone be killed by one" before every story on the subject
10. I think LEGO is the greatest toy ever
11. I think people who make up their mind and their position before they know what the issue is are what's wrong with our society.
12. I think religion should have nothing to do with government
13. I don't think Microsoft is the great evil of our time. I don't think Linux is the great savior of the computer industry. Both have their place.
14. I don't think Apple is better or the PC is worse. I think that ultimately, it comes down to personal preference, and everything does something really good.
15. Sony should not be allowed to hold press conferences, design new products, or in general, do anything in the modern entertainment industry.
16. Downloading Mp3s is the same as stealing, anyone who says differently is simply trying to justify doing something illegal.
17. I download Mp3s. It's easier to just admit you're stealing.
18. I think that the biggest mistake the recording industry and the RIAA has made is embarking down a path that prosecutes customers and thieves alike, while at the same time, ignoring the biggest oppertunity that's hit their industry since the cassette tape.
19. I don't download movies, but feel the need to. Nothing is more insulting then going to a theater and being called a thief by the company you're supporting. I'm sitting in the fucking theater and just paid $16 for two tickets, calling me a thief will just piss me off.
20. Life is to short to hate.
21. Neither Republicans or Democrats are right all the time (hell, even the majority of it). Reality requires compromise, and the happy middle is where we belong.
22. The United States is dominated by a majority of the minority because of the indifferecnce of the majority. Less then half of eligible voters showed up at the polls.
23. I will cry the day an election doesn't just consist of the lesser of two evils
24. I think that if someone didn't make the time to vote, they have no right to bitch about the person in office. If the last two elections have taught us anything, it's that one vote sure as hell matters
25. Tom Cruise needs to sit down and shut the fuck up
26. George W. Bush needs to do the same
27. Polls that say things like "30% of Americans don't remember when 9/11 was" should be required to provide information about the samples. I remember when it was, and I also remember the significance of December 7th, 1941. Sadly, very few others do...
28. It takes more time to complain about an idea then it does to come up with a better one
29. We haven't even begun to see where we can go as humanity.
30. The first step in engaging in an argument is understanding it. Know what the other side thinks before you dismiss their opinion.
31. The second step in engaging in an argument is knowing that the only solution is to adapt and compromise. Ranting has it's place, but if you're not willing to bend, don't expect the other side to bend either.
32. The third step is listening. Actually listen to what the other person says.
33. I don't think modern religious leaders, politicians, or fanatics practice any of those behaviors.
34. Read history because it's history.
35. Only an idiot dismisses evolution because it was written by Darwin. A bigger idiot dismisses it without knowing it or understanding it. An even bigger idiot argues against it because they've never read what the theory is about.
36. I don't understand how anyone can listen to Intelligent Design without breaking in to laughter. If you've read Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the idea that the universe was sneezed out makes more sense. If you haven't read it, stop reading this and go pick up a copy.
37. Trusting everything is a mistake. Being Skeptical of everything is a mistake. There are times in life when you need to go one way or the other, and being able to identify when is one of the most important things we learn.
38. Read the Bible. Take it for what it is, a historical manuscript, and you will find some interesting reads and good advice. On that same token, read the Qur'on, as well as other religious and historical texts.
39. A small minority of people have defined modern stereotypes. Very few Muslims are terrorists, very few American's (well, a bigger percentage then Muslim's/Terorrists) are Rednecks. Somehow, CNN only finds the extremes.
40. Fight against the modern patent system, and the fact that it kills innovation. 1/3rd of the Human Genome has been patented, which is a new surreal absurdity. On a lot of levels, patents work, but the idea that such a common thing or common sense can be patented should scare everyone.
41. If you express your opinion, you should be ready to defend it.
42. The FTC is a modern evil empire
43. Seeing a boob on TV will not scar a kid. Treating sex, reproduction, and the human form as taboo will scar kids far more. This isn't to say decorum, privacy, and modesty are in short supply. But the world would be a better place if the Puritan ideals that hold us back were done away with.
44. A TV network should have to pay viewers to watch crappy new reality TV shows
45. Understand what Fair Use and Public Domain are, and be willing to defend them. They are part of the foundations of our culture, and should be treated as such.
46. Know that the government needs to keep some secrets. How it treats prisoners, what laws are passed, where money in general goes, what our leaders are doing, and how they're protecting us should not be among them.
47. Sports serves a very crucial function in our society, and should be encouraged.
48. Science serves a very crucial function in our world, and should be supported.
49. Environmentalism is under seige from ignorance, and must be protected. There should never be a fight against trying to save our home.
50. Be realistic with kids, and don't set them up for struggle later. Make sure they understand that there will be times they win and lose, succeed and fail, and that there is always someone better at something. Teach them that life is defined by the total of a person, not one thing they do. Be supportive, know who they are, talk to them, but don't set them up for an unachieveable goal. Most of us aren't going to be Michael Jordon in this life, but we can still enjoy playing ball.

I'm surprised I've gotten that far. Honestly, I have more, and will continue the list later. But for now, I suppose I need to get back to work.

noreply@blogger.com (Nick) — Tue, 12 Sep 2006 21:18:00 +0000

Brazenly stolen from Katrina's Blog...

The MeMe of Three (stolen from ww)

Things that scare me:

Snakes
Becoming anything like my parents
Our Current Government (and by proxy, the religious power structure of the US)

People who make me laugh:

Stephen Lynch
Lewis Black
Carlos Mencia

Things I hate the most:

Christians that feel everyone is in need of saving, and by that logic, are inferior
Work
The elite nature that seems to follow so many people based on their views or beliefs

Things I don’t understand:

How Kevin Costner keeps getting work
Why is Paris Hilton popular
How can we have so many nutjobs wanting to blow up other people and kill presidents, yet we can't get one whacko to take care of that church in Kansas that protests military funerals (by their twisted belief, soldiers are killed in Iraq because God hates gays)

Things I am doing right now:

Not working
Trying to look like I'm working
Filling out this survey...

Things I want to do before I die:

Build a scale replica of a LEGO Castle and mideval town
Get one of my stories published
Take a spaceflight (ten years ago, this seemed like a pipe dream, it's getting more and more realistic as time goes on... I'm hoping true orbital flights are possible by the time I'm 50, and hopefully I'm not dead by then)

Things I can do:

Write
Sing (though I abjectly lie about that at work, and tell everyone their ears will start bleeding if I was to sing)
Cook

Ways to describe my personality:

"Confident"
Opinionated
Abstract

Things I can’t do:

Decide on what I want to do with my life
Finish a story
Keep a plant alive

Things I think you should listen to:

Advice from someone that's been through your situation before
The Police (and by that, I mean Police officers, not Sting's self righteous band)
Podcasts from people that have been fired from major news outlets for refusing to pander to politicians or celebrities

Things you should never listen to:

Oasis
The Government
How a celebrity, musician, actor, or reality TV star feels about politics, life, money, or just about anything else

Things I’d like to learn:

How to fix a car
How to animate 3D characters and figures
How to play guitar

Favorite foods:

Meat (let's just leave it at that... I simply like almost any variety of meat, save a few)
Blueberries
Soup (again, several types)

Beverages I drink regularly:

Soda (currently of the diet variety)
Milk
Water

TV shows I watched as a kid:

Transformers
G.I. Joe
Muppet Babies